I know I'm always behind the pop culture times. For instance, I just recently started playing Words With Friends on my iPhone. For the uneducated, Words With Friends is basically scrabble for your phone. And you can have as many games going with as many people as you want at any time.
For me, this is not a good thing. I'm a bit obsessive and I can't just leave the game alone. If one of my opponents plays a word and I notice it, I will spend the next few minutes trying to respond with my play. I can't, not, play back almost instantly.
So, due to my own obsessive tendencies, the Words With Friends app is dumb.
Another dumb one I recently heard about is the so-called Test Your Dog's IQ app from Sourcebooks. For 99 cents you can -- in the words of the company -- find out if your dog is a pure genius or a laid-back Lassie.
There's one called the iPhone blower. You can use it as a tiny fan to cool yourself or to blow out the candles on your birthday cake. Really? We need this?
Now, here's a genius one. It's called the fan noise app and there are several to choose from. A lot of people sleep with a fan next to the bed, not for the breeze, but for the white noise. And if you find yourself on the road at a hotel or relative's place with no fan, download the fan app and place it on the nightstand. Problem solved.
Also among the useful apps are the banking and financial apps that link me to my bank accounts and investments. It's like magic that I can take a photo of the front and back of a check and then the money shows up in my account.
I have a flashlight app that turns my iPhone into a rudimentary flashlight. It comes in handy from time to time. There are several versions and most are free.
Returning to the dumb apps, there's the official Kim Kardashian app. No explanation necessary.
Do you like to pop bubble wrap? There's an app for that. Yep, it's a picture of bubble wrap on the screen. You touch the bubbles, they pop and the phone vibrates. We have this, but yet no effective treatment for the common cold. Thanks technology.
Here's a head-scratcher? It's called the Sim Stapler. It's a picture of a stapler and you touch the screen and it staples, noise and all. After every tenth time you press the stapler a female voice comes on and exclaims, "Splendid."
And last of all, the top dumb smart phone app is iFart. You press a button and you get gassy emissions of all kinds. And you can bet I am downloading this one right now!
That's what I'm thinking.